A Lady In Colorado Springs

“You know honestly I would be THE worst pioneer in the history of pioneer’s. I’d see all this flat land and be like… nope… not happening.” I mused out loud to Danny.

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“I mean can you even imagine how hard it must have been to just keep walking through all this? And I mean, oxen are NOT fast ya know?” Looking out the car window at the delightfulness that is Kansas, I began to be thankful that our nations expansion was not left to me because we would have never made it to the Pacific. At the time though we were doing pretty well in our own way, Danny had decided to move to Colorado for the month to spend time fishing and doing all the nature-y things so I somehow decided it was a good idea to volunteer to drive the 21 hours from Michigan to Colorado Springs with him.

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There are certain things I think all couples should be exposed to as a sort of trial-by-fire ordeal to ensure their relationship is made to last. Sickness, car problems, and my most recent addition to the list, road trips.

Twenty-one hours of straight driving is enough to make anyone question their sanity and this trip was absolutely no exception.

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I won’t go into the gory details but their was enough Redbull consumed to tranquilize a small animal. But here’s the thing, love makes you do funny things. Like agree to road trips period. Or volunteering to go hiking when all your life the thought of the outdoors was enough to make you break out into hives. Or being willing to hold your future with open hands knowing that “life will take you where you’re meant to be” as a friend put it, or in my case, “life will drag you kicking and screaming to where you’re meant to be”.

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Because here’s the thing, there was a quote floating around Facebook that said something along the lines of, “Don’t cross oceans for someone who wouldn’t cross puddles for you” followed by, “No, do it. Do cross oceans for people. Love people, all people. No conditions attached, no wondering whether or not their worthy. Cross oceans, climb mountains. Life and love isn’t about what you gain, it’s about what you give.”

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Which is where I’m at right now. In life there’s no map telling you exactly whats next although I’ve begged God for that exact thing more times than I can count. Honestly, Michigan has been hard on my soul and I know most people might roll their eyes and tell me that it’s just a state and I should grow up. But I’m not sure that any amount of growing up will ever dull the pain of homesickness or the questioning of if I’m in the right place, if I’m achieving enough, if I’m going to loose my mind if I see one more darn snowflake and cloudy day in Detroit. Yes there is something to be said for staying the course but at what cost?

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Which leads me back to that poignant quote which hits me in the face every time like a ton of bricks. I want to live life just throwing love around like confetti. Isn’t that just a delightful thought?

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I don’t want to be scared of change, of making decisions about where I live or what I end up doing with my life. I have so much hope because no matter where I end up I’ll always have my faith, family, friends and that cute hunk that sticks by my side through thick and thin. And who knows what could happen! I never thought I’d be the type of girl to go hiking. period. and yet yesterday I begged Danny’s best friend and Danny to let me bungee jump off a bridge in my outdoorsy shoes! So here we are.

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This blog post is probably one of my most rambly, vulnerable ones and I hope you don’t mind that while I started out just wanting to tell you about Colorado, we seem to have taken a dive into talking about my deepest fears! Life is like a bungee swing, sometimes it can feel like you don’t have enough strength to pull the cord releasing you to fly, but you do. You pull the cord, you grab his hand and you soar over a gorge with the other arm outstretched knowing that everything’s going to be alright.

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XOXO,

Christena

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