“Oh hey… I know you don’t I?”
I froze mid-step in my red dress and heels and stared at the person speaking to me in the Paris airport. It was none other than Drew Barrymore waving at me from the coffee shop I was about to walk into.
I mean really y’all… There’s only a certain amount of composure you can maintain when your favorite actress EVER says, “you should just come over here and have your coffee with us!” (Us being herself and her husband who at the time was running a huge fashion line). I had been Ms. Barrymore’s Flight Attendant on the flight from New York to Paris and it just so happened she was also on my flight back to the States.
The fact that she remembered me blows my mind!!!
In my head I was quoting every “Ever After” line and drooling over her Prada outfit. In reality I was trying my best to play the effortless cool Flight Attendant as I casuallyyyy pulled the Instyle Magazine that she had been featured in out of my suitcase. I mean really subtle right? She was so gracious and signed my very obvious fan memorabilia as we spent the next half hour chatting about life because that’s just what you do when you have coffee with Drew Barrymore in Paris.
This week marks two years of flying and having crazy experiences like the above story happening on the regular. SO in honor of 24 months spent with my head in the clouds I thought I’d answer some of the most commonly asked questions I get (literally I get asked these every freaking deaking day).
“Is this your regular route?”
This is only flattering when you’re en route to Milan. Every other time it makes you wonder if people think you would actually stay with a job that would require you to fly to LaGarbage (LaGuardia) every other day. Personally, I would rather drink Coolant. The answer to that is no. I don’t have a regular route because I’m just a baby Flight Attendant, but one day when I grow up I’ll be like the enviable “senior momma’s” who only fly to London on Tuesdays.
“What’s the craziest thing that’s ever happened to you?”
On Christmas day last year I was wearing reindeer antlers and a necklace of light up ornaments and a passenger came on and screamed at me at the top of her lungs, “Get the **** out of my way”. I really don’t understand how people can be so rude to a reindeer in a red dress on Christmas, but for the rest of the flight this passenger continued to yell at me, stick her leg out in the aisle to try and trip me anytime I would walk by and elbowed her neighbor and pointed to me and said, “After this flight, I”m going to knock her the **** out”. Thank goodness for the police men who happened to be traveling on my flight who were actual angels and stayed behind to protect me once we landed and walk me to my next gate. My airline also took some steps to resolve the situation. Don’t worry mom… I played rugby and wasn’t even the least bit scared.
“Do people really join the mile high club?”
In a word. No. I suppose it has happened back in the day when security was a bit looser or maybe every once in a Blue Moon… but trust me. This is the most disgusting thought in the world. Have any of y’all even seen an airplane lavatory lately? While we do our best to keep them clean for everyone… You put 300 people in a metal tube for 8 hours, perform 8 beverage services + 3 meals and then give them 4 bathrooms? I’ve had to hold coffee bags up to my face to keep from vomiting.
She is glamour, she is grace…. and for the record please for the love of all things holy don’t you dare take your shoes off on a plane. I don’t see any of y’all running around barefoot in Walmart so why in the Sam Hill would you run around barefoot on my plane? (That’s not water on the floor!)
“Does your red dress mean you’re in charge?”
No, it means I’m Delta’s Flight Attendant of the Year. Hehehe okay that’s usually my response but it’s totally not true. It’s just a dress that comes in red and blue and I quite like the red.
“Do you eat the plane food?”
Sometimes, on rare occasions. My airline actually does a phenomenal job of providing quality food with gluten free, vegan, non-GMO, vegetarian options. Personally, I know it’s BEYOND loaded with sodium so I always pack my own food. #MealPrep
“Do you get jetlagged?”
Actually, I’ve never had jet lag. As much as I fly to and from Europe… We’re there for 24 hours and then come home so it really doesn’t affect your body too terribly. I take small naps when I’m tired and drink a gallon of water a day. Voila!
“What is your biggest pet peeve?”
Noise cancelling headphones and when people step onto the plane and I say “Hi welcome aboard, how are you today?” and they just stare and walk past me.
“Is it hard to date or have a relationship as a Flight Attendant?”
I think dating as a Flight Attendant can feel almost impossible. Before I met Dan man I would have guys ask me out on flights, but of course we’re on a flight going away from my home 99.9% of the time and I really have an intense aversion to long distance so although I did go on a few dates in Paris and London… I pretty much thought I’d be single for awhile. That is until Danny’s dad was on my flight and set us up. 🙂
“What is one thing most people don’t know about Flight Attendants?”
How much power a flight crew possesses. The pilots and Flight Attendants work together to A) make sure 9/11 doesn’t happen again and B) make you feel like you’re a welcome guest. But A) is the part most people don’t seem to understand. Arguments and disturbances are one thing on the ground in normal life… they’re a WHOLE other thing when you’re in the air. This is why if you as a passenger come on drunk, appearing to be drunk, violent either verbally or physically, or any behavior which makes the crew or passengers uncomfortable… All airline employees will proceed with caution and will have to make decisions to ensure the safety everyone.
“When are you going to settle down and have a family?”
The best thing about this job is that you can mold it to fit YOUR lifestyle. I don’t have a family, I’m 24 and can jet over to Hawaii for a friends trip and I work extra trips to Switzerland on the weekends to pick up coffee for my dad. It’s exactly the life I want at this life stage. However, one day, I’d of course love nothing more than to live in one place, have babies and
“settle down”, but that’s totally doable too. I could adjust my schedule, work less, maybe even only work day trips a couple times a month. Honestly, having the ability to fly anywhere in the world I want to for FREE is not something I can see myself giving up very easily which is why it’s so beautiful that I most likely won’t ever have to.
I hope you enjoyed this rather lengthy blog post… It’s truly been the best two years of my life and I can’t wait to see where I’ll go next!