I remember that day vividly. I called my friend and told her I had just called off my engagement. Between the sniffles and snot she told me she was coming over. I told her not to bother, I couldn’t stop crying long enough to hold a conversation, but she’s the type that doesn’t take no for an answer and within a few minutes she was holding me on the floor as I just sobbed.
There were moments when I didn’t think my little heart would make it through this. The horrible thing about love is that the more you give it, the more it hurts when it ends so at 20 I was returning my wedding dress and crying to the Bed Bath and Beyond person as I surrendered my dishes.
I convinced myself that I needed to put myself back out there, that if I could find love once I could surely find it again. So I became a serial dater. Armed with 5 dating apps I made going out on dates a hobby. Some people paint or scrapbook. I dated. Sure there were fun ones in Paris, Amsterdam and London, but there were also tearful calls home discouraged and convinced I would die an old maid.
Finally I just gave up. As a side note can I just rant for a second about how much I have come to HATE dating apps?? I’ve never fallen for a guy in person because he’s a 10/10. Usually….it’s a combination of physical attraction and the way he talks and smiles and just his personality in general. So WHY would I devalue a person by just swiping left or right based on their ab count? Ok I’m done!
After a short and unsuccessful relationship that defeated me further I just threw the towel in. Not just the towel… the whole laundry basket. If I was going to fall in love again it would happen on its own and there was simply nothing else I could do.
So there I was flying to Minneapolis at 6am when a man sat down next to me and said he worked for Delta too. I tried to remember if i had put deodorant on and enjoyed his kindness. We talked about my family, life in aviation and looked at pictures of his daughters wedding. The lady sitting next to us was also part of the Delta family and chimed in when she heard that the gentleman beside me had a single son. “OH well Christena are you single??” she exclaimed. In my head I remembered my resolution to not date and instead focus on myself but half shrugged and said I was in fact single.
“Well they should meet shouldn’t they” she asked the gentleman beside me. I tried to get out of it by pointing out that surely the son lives in Minneapolis and not in Detroit but of COURSE… he lived in Detroit.
“Well I’m just focusing on myself right now” I explained. But of course the lady asked to for a picture of the single son and upon seeing him I think all thoughts of focusing on myself disappeared. So between the gentleman and the lady I soon had his number and well… the rest is kind of history right? Or at least if you follow me on social media you’ve been bombarded by the worlds soppiest pictures (my bad… not really that sorry 😉 )
So yes… I’m in a beautiful, healthy, wonderful, magical (okay even I’m barfing now) relationship… but it wasn’t because I tried. To be honest I wanted to sucker punch any and everyone who told me I had to stop “trying” in order to find love. My version of this is that you can’t need someone. ever. Yes, you can want them, but you have to be emotionally okay on your own because putting your emotional stability on someone else isn’t fair or right.
So here we are… I’ve hung up my serial dating stilettos, but be prepared, if you ask me my worst dating stories you’ll be there for a few hours 😉