My French Boyfriend

People ask me all the time if I ever date people I meet on planes. The assumption here is that first of all, I meet attractive eligible bachelors and secondly and more importantly, that I’m capable of flirting.

He boarded the plane and I practically had to pick my jaw up off the floor. He was Parisian and James Bond level dreamy. We were just meant to be from the moment I laid eyes on him… or at least that’s what I told myself as I turned the same color as my red dress.

Play it cool Christena, be nonchalant, desirable.

So I cooly, nonchalantly pushed my little cart down the aisle. As I pulled out the 24 soda can drawer that weighs about 2 tons I looked up and Prince Charming made eye contact with me and winked.

Any normal person would do something flirty like wink back or smile…. but nooooo… Christena had to drop. the. entire. soda drawer on her feet. Right as I cried out in pain we hit turbulence and the drawer turned over releasing all 24 cans to go hurtling down the aisles.

I have never prayed so hard for the earth to swallow me whole.

But it’s okay – got that one slightly tragic incident over… smooth sailing now? Oh but you don’t know me…….

After successfully avoiding Prince Charming by hiding behind the curtains in the galley I was forced to walk through the cabin for my break. Trying my best to appear light and airy with a touch of Kate Middleton I trotted down the aisle keeping a lookout for Prince Charming. There in the last row he looked up and saw me…. and smiled……..

At that very moment I felt myself plummeting to the ground. In my Kate Middleton trotting I had failed to notice a sleeping passengers outstretched leg. So in all of my glory

I

completely

face

smacked

the floor of the plane.

Laying there I contemplated things… like whether or not I should just crawl the rest of the way to avoid ever making eye contact with Prince Charming again, or maybe I should just lay very still and no one will notice me.

Somehow I managed to gather what was left of my dignity and slink to the back.

I would like to conclude with the fact that Prince Charming did ask for my number and we’re getting married so that basically makes me Cinderella. Okay maybe we’re not getting married but I did get his number. So ladies, when in doubt, drop 24 soda cans on your feet – it’s the new trick 😉

XOXO,

Christena

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