Doing My Makeup in the Emergency Room

“Breathe in, breathe out Christena” I murmured to myself. The pain was almost unbearable as I sat on the Emergency Room bed. Slowly reaching into my purse I grasped my makeup bag to survey the damage the 9 hours of crying had done. Brutal… just brutal.

Taking out my compact I delicately powdered my nose as pain seared through my abdomen, next was the lipstick which I slowly smeared across my lips. I smoothed my hair and looked up in mild satisfaction only to see 6 pairs of eyes on me from all the other hospital beds… There I was being heavily sedated for a cyst rupturing and filling my abdomen with blood… with tears running down my face… putting on makeup! WHY ON EARTH AM I SO CRAZY? This cute guy I’m seeing was about to show up to take care of me… that’s why.

Here are 5 reasons every relationship should start out with a 15 hour trip to the ER.

  1. They say the beginning of a relationship is all butterflies and roses… Unless you’re me in which case it was more like hydrocodone and hospital gowns. Let’s just say there was no pretenses when having to ask your boyfriend to help carry you to the bathroom to provide a urine sample. #SheIsBeautySheIsGrace
  2. It’s easy to make sure your makeup and hair is always flawless when starting to see someone… easy until your makeup is running down your face as you scream in pain when the doctor tries to examine you. When he tells you that you still look beautiful when your eyes are almost swollen shut… you know he means it and that vulnerability can bring you closer. 
  3. Girls try to hide the crazy at first ammm iiii rightttt? Nothing quite like being heavily sedated and playing Cinderella’s “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes” 12 times in a row announcing each time that he’s going to LOVE it to reallyyyy ensure he is aware of ALL the crazy 😉 
  4. Cosmo has made millions providing women with questions to ask their man in order to get to know him and have him get to know you…. Spare the $6 bucks for that magazine and just have him there when the doctor asks you for your entire medical history since you were 12! Nothing as romantic as him knowing your height, weight and menstrual cycle. 
  5. And finally you get to see the gem of a guy that you’re dating. Someone who’s willing to sit in a plastic chair for 15 hours just to hold my hand while I dozed in and out of medicated consciousness… that my friends is a gem of a man.

The doctors determined that surgery wouldn’t be necessary thank goodness. My body will just slowly absorb the blood that is in my abdomen. #Lovely. After 3 ultrasounds, 1 CT scan, 5 IV bags, 15 hours in the ER and enough medication to sedate a buffalo I cant even begin to explain how amazing it feels to be home.

Even though my ER visit was without a doubt one of the worst days I’ve had in my life (not even exaggerating a little bit), it made me realize how truly blessed I am.

Do you have those moments where you just look around and wonder how on earth you got so lucky? How you ended up with the most magical people in your life?

My mom threw her stuff into a bag and got on the first flight to Detroit just so that I didn’t have to be alone, between dozing off I’d read on my phone the kindest, most wonderful messages and comments and there was this sweet man skipping everything he had to do just to support me. My heart is so full and if only there were words to express how deeply grateful I am for each one of you that prayed for me, reached out to me and supported me in what was a very unpleasant day… I am forever indebted to each one of you!

Here’s to June, because well, I’m just kind of over May 😉

XOXO,

Christena

 

 

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