A little bit over a year ago I packed one duffel bag, put a lamp and a few pictures in my car and drove to Michigan to move to Detroit. Oh believe me, Detroit was not the city I had envisioned starting out my grown up career in. I had envisioned a beautiful southern life in Atlanta or maybe a bustling high society life in NYC… but here we are.
The nose of the plane touched down as we landed in Paris. No sooner had that occurred than this tiny… tiny… little old lady bolted up, grabbed her ginormous suitcase from the overhead bin and started racing towards the plane door.
I unlatched my harness and bolted after her.
“Ma’am, ma’am!!!!” I shouted. Continue reading “The Do’s and Don’ts of Air Travel”
“Oh I just love your outfit” the police officer said to me as I placed my belongings into the scanner.
“Gosh thank you – It’s just so fun to wear heels isn’t it?” I replied not even thinking that DUH officers don’t wear heels at work… *Palm to face*
“Breathe in, breathe out Christena” I murmured to myself. The pain was almost unbearable as I sat on the Emergency Room bed. Slowly reaching into my purse I grasped my makeup bag to survey the damage the 9 hours of crying had done. Brutal… just brutal. Continue reading “Doing My Makeup in the Emergency Room”
“Wellppp… I could either get the gold hedgehog with the pink party hat OR the gold giraffe with the blue party hat”, I thought to myself as I stood in the aisle of Target. Did I come in to get a gold hedgehog from Target? Pshh, don’t be silly! I came in to get pantyhose and left with pug dog salt shakers, a gold hedgehog, a gold pineapple candle and a shirt that says “Namastay in bed”. #SuccessfulAdulting
I screeched to a stop in front of the stroller section in the Atlanta airport baggage claim.
“Um hi, I need that stroller right there for a passenger” i breathlessly exclaimed to the very bored looking worker.
“Yea……. we can’t do that, you’re not the owner of the stroller are you?” Side note: apparently I look incapable of owning a stroller?
“We’d like to ask Christena Brooks to stay behind today”
In that moment at the interview to be a flight attendant I was convinced I had done something horribly wrong and so I burst into tears. They led a very snotty Christena to the back room and revealed I had been offered a job offer. Continue reading “I Could Have Had A Baby”